Don't Blame Yourself

July 23rd, 2006 is a day that I will always remember. It is possible I may forget the event that occurred, but it remains in my memory for now.


That was the day I found out my son's father was cheating on me. My heart dropped into my stomach. Tears streamed down my face. And all I could do was blame myself. Various thoughts raced through my head. I wanted to pinpoint where I went wrong, but I was not the one to blame.


It took me two years to stop accusing myself. And I finally saw him for the person he truly was. During those two years, I lived my life so my son and I could survive, but my mind and my heart no longer possessed the spirit they once had.


I kept making myself accountable for his actions when I should not have been doing that. My life took a hard hit because I allowed myself to sink into a depression. And, I am sure there are numerous people out there just like me: some major event takes place, and they criticize themselves.


It's a hard habit to defeat, but you need to take control of your life. You cannot always control outside forces. However, you can prepare for them. If I would have listened to my classmates, then I may have been able to let go of the blame. I always maintained a good support team, but I could not stop the little voice in my head. The voice kept saying, "you're going to screw up again, and this time it will be much worse."


Honestly, I have not figured out how to stop that voice or the people who try to hold me back from my dreams. Instead, I have made them my motivation. I am going to prove them wrong, and "make them eat their words." If I let their words stop me, then I will never achieve my dreams, and they will win.


In my mind, I will not let that happen. I will not become complacent until I have reached my goals. My long journey has just begun, but when I reach my destination, I will smile knowing I have overcome obstacles that have been placed there for a reason. The big picture always reminds me of my responsibilities, my dreams, and my desires.

Don't let the outside forces stop you from your dreams. Just laugh. Show them that you will surpass their hindrances. And, you will eventually reach your destination.