Strength

What does strength mean to you? Merriam-Webster provides nine definitions for this term, but each person has their own meaning of strength. Nonetheless, I want to focus on the first definition, the quality or state of being strong: the capacity for exertion or endurance. An individual can be physically strong, but mental strength is the key to overcoming any adversity. As James Conant once said, “Behold the turtle. He makes progress only when he sticks his neck out.”




Without taking that risk, enduring our problems or exercising our will to push through these issues, then we would not consider ourselves strong people.
Now that we know the definition, let us consider what strength is not. Strength is not when you run away from your problem. It is not when you let them sit there and fester. Moreover, strength is not when you hand all your problems over to someone else so they can fix them for you. It just does not work that way. You have to be involved in the process somehow, and it is completely different when that individual is there to guide you.




Do not get me wrong, I have made the first two mistakes numerous times in different situations. Where did it get me? Nowhere. By the time my issues were all said and done, I had an even bigger mess to clean. Let us take not paying your bills as an example. Sure, you can use the money to go by other things, but your bills will still be there waiting for you. If choose not to pay them, you will rack up an insane amount of late fees. Eventually, this bill will be sent to a collection agency. Then, these people will become your enemies. They will call you five or six times a day about your bill, if not more. They will harass you, call you dirty names, and do whatever else it takes to get their money.




Maybe, just maybe the bill will go away after seven years. However, it is highly unlikely. Those individuals will take this even further by issuing you a subpoena. Then, you will end up paying for court costs and risk the possibility of your check being garnished. This horrible cycle that affects everyone around you. Granted, I am defending bill collectors because some of them are just unethical, but that is not the point of my blog.




My point is you have to think about resolutions. How are you going to move past the issue that has been created? That will become a testament to your strength. When I hear people tell me I am a strong person, I sometimes brush it off because I never thought of myself like that. Nevertheless, each individual encounters various problems and handles them in a different manner. The problems I encounter might be similar to another individual, but they may choose a different solution. It does not necessarily mean you are not strong person, but it means that each person has his or her own strengths and weaknesses. So if you have a problem that is bugging you, get off your butt and do something about it. I am in the process of resolving mine at this very moment, but I will save that for the next blog.




Until the next time….

Don't Blame Yourself

July 23rd, 2006 is a day that I will always remember. It is possible I may forget the event that occurred, but it remains in my memory for now.


That was the day I found out my son's father was cheating on me. My heart dropped into my stomach. Tears streamed down my face. And all I could do was blame myself. Various thoughts raced through my head. I wanted to pinpoint where I went wrong, but I was not the one to blame.


It took me two years to stop accusing myself. And I finally saw him for the person he truly was. During those two years, I lived my life so my son and I could survive, but my mind and my heart no longer possessed the spirit they once had.


I kept making myself accountable for his actions when I should not have been doing that. My life took a hard hit because I allowed myself to sink into a depression. And, I am sure there are numerous people out there just like me: some major event takes place, and they criticize themselves.


It's a hard habit to defeat, but you need to take control of your life. You cannot always control outside forces. However, you can prepare for them. If I would have listened to my classmates, then I may have been able to let go of the blame. I always maintained a good support team, but I could not stop the little voice in my head. The voice kept saying, "you're going to screw up again, and this time it will be much worse."


Honestly, I have not figured out how to stop that voice or the people who try to hold me back from my dreams. Instead, I have made them my motivation. I am going to prove them wrong, and "make them eat their words." If I let their words stop me, then I will never achieve my dreams, and they will win.


In my mind, I will not let that happen. I will not become complacent until I have reached my goals. My long journey has just begun, but when I reach my destination, I will smile knowing I have overcome obstacles that have been placed there for a reason. The big picture always reminds me of my responsibilities, my dreams, and my desires.

Don't let the outside forces stop you from your dreams. Just laugh. Show them that you will surpass their hindrances. And, you will eventually reach your destination.

Motivation

I started to write a blog yesterday, but I have decided to can that idea and go with something else. You could say I have writer's block, but I also have a lot on my mind. This blog was originally started to give my views on things that take place within my life. Then, I decided to change the focus and have it center on motivation.

So what really motivates people? I could list off many people and ideas that motivate me. Others may use something else to keep them moving through this journey we call life. However, people sometimes stop and think is this really what I want? I know I have asked myself that question many times. Then, I look at my son and realize I have a responsibility to him. I also have a responsibility to myself: I cannot settle for something that I am "comfortable" with if it's not what I desire.

You could say that I have taken a wrong turn and need to find my way back to the right path. Yet, Albert Einstein said it best with the following quote: "Life is like a bicycle. In order to keep your balance, you have to keep moving." You do have to keep moving, but you need to make sure you're moving in the right direction.

I feel my friend's addition to the quote is even better: "Life is like a bicycle. In order to keep your balance, you have to keep moving - yes, even if you fell and bruised yourself." The issue with certain individuals, including myself, is that we give up if we have fallen off our bike. I could have gone the rest of my life without obtaining my degree and continue working in my current position, but that's not what I want.

I had to reassess my situation, and I have decided that I want my degree. I would like to be able to provide my child with the things he wants. Most of all, I want to do what I love. If it was not for my boyfriend, it may have been quite sometime before I realized I wasn't getting back on my bicycle. You could say he is another one of my motivations.

Before I leave my blog, let me leave you with one final thought. Keep moving towards your aspirations. Remember what motivates you, and do not stray from the right path. If you have to reassess, then do what is necessary. Whatever you do, do not give up on yourself or your dreams.